But then suddenly the situation became real and like a tidal wave crashing upon shoreline excitement pounded through me. I was to be an author. Morning Rain would provide me with editors, with a graphic designer, with marketing advice, and industry experience. Morning Rain would share my words with the minds of others. I became a vessel of erratic energy and could barely think straight. I was thrilled and sick all at once and it was lovely, grand, curious, and uncomparable...
And now something new has occurred. A higher level of comprehension has set upon me, a kind which has sparked my previous vigor into an ominous stomach and mind swirl of what ifs.
- What if my book launches and no one buys it?
- What if people buy it but no one enjoys it?
- What if people buy it and everyone hates it?
- What if everyone hates it and Morning Rain no longer trusts me?
- What if this beginning becomes an end?
My whole life has been a roller coaster ride of energies. When something excites me the ride fires into speed, the world ignites and I move faster and faster, but then the world around me slows down and my ride slides back with its pace, and when that happens, I become inspired. As the ride and real life become one my expression becomes inspired, and I must write.
That is how I work. And so while I await a coming triumph or doom I will write...